Water

After the Titanic sunk, or at least, I think it sunk… I remember someone yelling about the ship hitting an iceberg. Next thing I know, everyone is in panic mode. People are running around, jumping into life boats, some idiots were jumping off the side of the ship… I don’t remember their reasoning. Either way, someone thought it would be so funny to start throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in my freakishly girly head and was knocked out instantly. Now, I’m awake, on a largish piece of ship wreckage that for some reason is floating. Whatever. Now, where are my freaking glasses? I looked around frantically but nope. The glasses were gone. Oh geez. I can’t see without my glasses. I tried to look around but could see nothing but blue water all around. I decided to chill out and wait for someone to rescue me. If a plane were to fly by, they would surely notice my beautiful girly face reflect the suns lovely glows. I laid back with my eyes closed and just waited…

Until I heard a sound come from behind me. I turned to look, but couldn’t make it out. As it swam closer, I began to make it out… Was it… a Japanese whaling ship?

Oh dear Lord, if they were to find an American in their sea they would surely harpoon my beautiful girly body to death. I had to act fast. I began to paddle the wreckage away from the ship, but to no avail. This ship was fast. It was approaching at an alarming rate, and I began to panic. Here it comes… It’s getting closer… I closed my eyes and waited. Eventually I heard the sound of old men, and smelt whale blubber. The men were muttering in a different language, presumably Japanese. I heard them jump into the water and swim towards me. They grabbed me and threw me up into the ship. I kept my eyes closed. A few sailors began talking, all of them surrounding me. Then, in broken English, I heard “Wake up, beautiful girly girl.” I slowly turned towards the noise and opened my eyes. The man looked glum. He turned towards his shipmates and muttered something else. The shipmates walked away. “Don’t worry, this will all be over soon.” He said. I started to panic. The shipmates came back holding a large harpoon gun. “Fire!” The man said. I closed my eyes and heard a poof. I slowly opened my eye and looked forward. A flag had shot from the harpoon gun, saying “Got You!”

“Haha!” the Man shouted. “We got you good!”

I looked around, and Ashton Kutcher appeared from the back of the ship.

“Oh man, we got you good! How does it feel to be the latest victim on Punk’d?

I giggled.

Ashton turned to the Japanese men and said “Okay, boys, let’s take her home.”